OBITUARIES
Eve Melisande Barnes
(née Helmore, 1933 - 2022)
Headingtonian 1951
Written by her husband, Philip Barnes
Born on the 15th October 1933 and although christened Eve, she rarely used the name, being known as Melisande, Melly, or Sandy.
Her early years were spent in Claygate, Surrey but during the Second World War she was evacuated to Crediton, Devon. After the war, her father, a District Auditor, was transferred to Oxford and Melisande started at Headington. She thoroughly enjoyed life in Oxford and often talked about it. Evensong at Christchurch and music at School with Sir Thomas Armstrong gave her a lifelong love of singing, especially Church music. Her father was then transferred to Essex and the family moved to Woodford Green.
After leaving school, Melisande went to Leicester Domestic Science College, gaining her IMA diploma. Following work experience at several establishments, she obtained the post of Kitchen Supervisor at a school in London Docklands, producing 1000 meals a day. In 1961 she married Philip, a trainee architect. In 1963, Nicholas was born (now with BBC in Newcastle).
In 1964, they moved to Exeter in Devon and Philip joined Devon CC. In 1966, Morwenna was born (now teaching in London). Melisande worked part time in the local flower nursery, but then settled down to being a wife and mother. When the children were old enough, she took up part time work again as a nursery assistant at a local Psychiatric hospital.
Her love of signing found her in local Church choirs, including Exeter Cathedral Voluntary Choir. She enjoyed walking in the countryside, especially with one of the many dogs she had over the years. However, dementia and cancer gradually weakened her until finally taking their toll on the 22nd May 2022. Her ashes will be buried in Bude in the family grave. She had two grandchildren by Nicholas: William, now in the Royal Navy and Daisy, who graduated from Stirling University with a 2:1 in Sports Science and Philosophy in 2022.
Rosa Bennington-Sears
(1930 - 2022)
Former Staff, 1989
Written by Elizabeth Tucker, Headmistress (1982-1996)
Rosa Bennington-Sears was already in post as Domestic Bursar when I took up my position as Head in 1982. Rosa had arrived in 1981 and remained in charge until she retired from Headington in 1989, so it was a great joy to know that I had her expertise for all that time. It was a complex post as there were five boarding houses as well as the lunch for the School, with its day girls, not to mention the Prep School. Rosa entered into all the complexity with gusto and immense care. It was a joy to know that every day there would be a different meal with its own main course and ‘pudding’. The variety that Rosa achieved was memorable and for special occasions there was always a treat!
It was a privilege for me to share her delicious fare and professionalism and I am very grateful to her.
The Reverend James Edmund Cocke
(1926 – 2022)
Chaplain 2020
Written by his daughter Fiona Boggis (née Cocke, Headingtonian, 1974)
The Reverend Jim Cocke was inducted as the sixth Vicar of All Saints’, Headington, Oxford in February 1957. He remained in this post until his retirement in January 2020 and during his time as Vicar at All Saints’ he served as Chaplain to Headington School.
Jim greatly valued his connection with Headington School; he prepared many girls for Confirmation and during the time when Sunday attendance at Church was compulsory, the boarders attended morning service at All Saints’, walking down Latimer Road on a Sunday morning in their grey cloaks. On Sunday afternoons in the summer term, groups of four girls would be seen making their way to tea at The Vicarage; Margaret would provide a sumptuous tea, chocolate cake being a special favourite, then the girls would be “invited” to join the Cocke children on the Vicarage lawn for a game of “Vicarage cricket”. Any ball that was hit over the garden wall was called “6 and Out”! Afternoon tea metamorphosed into invitations to Sunday evening “Coffee and Chat” sometimes with a game of Table Tennis thrown in. When the Sixth Form House was overflowing with girls, Jim and Margaret opened their home to overseas pupils. Margaret at this time was a part time teacher at the Prep School, nurturing young lives.
Many Headingtonians and former members of staff will have memories of Jim; one former member of staff wrote, “I frequently think of the day that he said to the school he was going to show us something no one had ever seen and after the next few minutes no one would ever see again. Then he cracked open a walnut and ate it. A great man”.
Headingtonian Reunions gave Jim the chance to catch up with former pupils; he rarely forgot a face from the past and was always pleased when they came back and found him at All Saints’. One Headingtonian described him as “a fatherly figure with a very kind heart. He was a really positive, thoughtful influence in my teenage years”. Another said, “Rev Cocke always had time to listen and talk to us”.
In later years, Jim was delighted to welcome the Prep School to All Saints’ for their annual Christingle Service and to the Church Annual Christmas Bazaar, held in aid of The Children’s Society, when the Choir would entertain the eager Christmas shoppers.
Following his retirement from All Saints’, he moved to Poundbury, Dorset, where he continued to minister to the residents at Castle View throughout lockdown, and where he died peacefully on 11th June 2022. He is survived by his four children, Hilary and Fiona both Headingtonians, ten grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren.
His funeral service was held at St Mary’s Parish Church, Swanage where he had lived for a short while as a boy; he was then buried alongside his wife Margaret who died in 2008 after a long struggle with Alzheimer’s disease. Headington School was represented at the funeral by Helen Batchelor (née Miles) a Headingtonian and now External Relations Trustee.
A celebration of the life of Jim Cocke through the music and literature that he loved is being held at All Saints’ Headington on Saturday 29th April. For those who would like to attend, please sign up here.
Image: Left: Claire Locher (née Payne 1978), right: Denise Lebon
Denise Lebon
(née Payne, 1955 - 2022)
Headingtonian 1973
Written by her sister, Claire Locher (née Payne 1978)
My sister Denise had this unique zest for life and oozed warmth: she would be the first to dance at a party, the first to jump in a pool, run in the sea; she loved people, going up to them easily and would laugh whole-heartedly normally the last one to leave the table, the last to go to bed. She spent formative happy years at Headington first in Davenport and then in Celia Marsh House in the 6th form; I have to admit I am not certain but believe she was not always the good girl, as she embraced life a little too fully. Denise loved animals and her first pet was her rabbit Zebedee at Davenport that I remember visiting, she was also an excellent 800m sprinter which impressed me no end.
Denise went to the Hotel School in Lausanne, and eventually settled in France, marrying and having her daughter Jennifer.
Sadly Denise was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in August and lost her battle in November; it was so fast and even took my fighter-sister by surprise.
We were so different but we shared so much laughter, our stories and some secrets.
I miss my big sister, I miss Dede.
Christina Millest
(1925 - 2023)
Former staff 1984
Written by Tom Millest, Helen Dendle (née Millest, Headingtonian 1978) and Hugh Ross
Christina grew up in Lancashire, where her father Norman was headmaster of Preston Grammar School. She developed an early love of the Lake District, taking summer walking holidays in Norman’s home village of Wasdale.
Educated at Wycombe Abbey School, she went on to read English at Lady Margaret Hall Oxford, following in her mother Nesta’s footsteps. Encouraged by success as Perdita with OUDS, she acted in repertory and gained a Licentiate in speech and drama while living in London with sister Isobel. During her education she made lifelong friends of Alice Woudhuysen, Robin Myers and Eileene Millest.
In 1952 she married Eileene’s brother Philip. After two years in Sudan with Philip as District Governor, they returned to England and raised their three children: Rachel, Tom and Helen in Dulwich, Wilton and Oxford, following Philip’s legal career.
Christina stayed in Oxford after a divorce in 1970 and from 1972 to 1984 taught English and Drama at Headington School, producing several school plays. On retirement, she joined groups to share passions for poetry and ecology and ran drama therapy sessions for autistic children. In her 70s and 80s she still enjoyed active family holidays and found fellowship in the Methodist Church as well as supporting Isobel and researching in depth her family history.
Christina moved to Salisbury in 2014 to be closer to Rachel adapting, aged 88, to her new city. Sadly Rachel died in 2016, so in 2018 she moved to Bournemouth where, under Helen’s care she managed to live semi-independently for a few years until dementia took its toll.
She is survived by her two younger children, five grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.
Clare Peirce
(née Afford, 1951-2021)
Headingtonian 1967
Written by Jane Campbell (née Mitton) Headingtonian, 1970.
I was saddened to read a short notice in the Obituary section in last year’s Headingtonian Magazine informing us of the death of Clare Peirce (née Afford). I wanted to write some words about her as Clare had been my first real friend at Headington.
I was in the Upper Third and Clare in the Lower Fourth when I first got to know her in the Spring term of 1964. We were both boarders in Latimer House and occupied adjacent beds in the same dormitory. Being a fairly shy and retiring child I had not particularly enjoyed my first term at Headington; Clare accepted me for myself and we immediately became friends. We talked a lot, had fun and got into quite a lot of trouble.
I recently found the five-year diary I began writing that term. Here are a few entries from the diary, copied verbatim, which will not only give a flavour of my friendship with Clare at that time, but also life as a boarder in 1960s Headington. The names of a few of my contemporaries crop up in these entries. I hope this is ok - I have fond memories of you all!
4 February 1964: Mrs Norman away so Top Div French came in with us so we didn’t have our French Dictée I’m glad to say! Had Gym. Went for a walk with Clare and Skinney after lunch. Went to Miss Bailey’s (housemistress) tonight for knitting and reading.
6 February 1964: After lunch Lalage and I practised netball. Wrote a letter to Bessie (my sister) during prep. We (dormitory) were caught talking by Belfield & were sent to Sister B who sent us to Miss Jones. Did not have a punishment as Miss Bailey’s day off.
28 February 1964: Had feet exercises this morning. In History we just mucked around doing things for our “History Scrapbook”. Clare & I were caught going to bed late & so tomorrow night we are going to bed early. We will have a bit of fun I think.
20 March 1964: Had “General Knowledge” test & I got 60½ out of 170! Had house reports. Got a rather bad one & Miss Bailey said I was rather silly & naughty. I asked to be in with Clare next term and she said we don’t go together very well but she’ll try. (Of course we were not in the same dorm the following term or ever again).
and so on…
As I progressed up the school my circle of friends grew, some of which remain so to this day. Clare left school before I did and we didn’t keep in touch but I will always remember her with gratitude. Clare was the girl who befriended me and encouraged the more risk-taking and creative side of my personality, which has stood me well during my lifetime. Thank you Clare for being my friend. RIP
Wendy Rooney
(née Morgan-Williams, 1963 - 2021)
Former staff 2019
Written by her husband, Shane Rooney
Wendy taught English, Psychology and Food & Nutrition at Headington. Her relationship began with Headington at the pencil gate at the Nursery in the Prep school where Immy and Izzy began their education and right through to the senior school.
Wendy qualified as a teacher at Pembroke College, Oxford and after a short teaching role in the UK embarked on a brave decision to take up an appointment as an English Teacher at Dubai College, then seen as a hardship post in the desert. She certainly enjoyed the expat lifestyle living and working by the beach for over six years. That relationship with the Middle East continued with the family as a whole over the years, particularly UAE and Oman.
Returning to the UK and working in Bournemouth School for Girls, she met Shane and they married and settled in Oxfordshire. She took the opportunity of a temporary post at Headington and remained there for nearly 14 years. She was a passionate English teacher and loved nothing more than sitting with a book in the classroom and inspiring pupils in English Literature, which was reflected in exam results. Many will know that her favourite book was Rebecca. Wendy was probably the unofficial chief supporter of HSOBC as anyone would witness to her running and shouting at the riverbank at all the regattas. Of course this was extremely embarrassing for the rest of the family. A perfect day spent with all the Rowing Dads and Mums and a not so secret crush on James Cracknell, the Olympic rower.
Wendy was a champion of young people's mental health and was a volunteer for SHOUT and also the Samaritans and helped so many people over the years. After a brief illness, Wendy passed away in June 2021. This was a very difficult time for the family and with Covid restrictions still in place we could not invite her many friends, colleagues and former pupils to the service. We hope you will remember Wendy for her kindness and dedication at Headington. We have lost a wonderful woman, wife and mother but she is embedded in our hearts forever.
Florence Elizabeth Sharples
(1931-2023)
Former staff 1966
We would like to acknowledge the passing of Florence Elizabeth Sharples ‘Elizabeth’ in January 2023. Elizabeth was Housemistress of Davenport and taught Religious Education at Headington from 1960 to 1966.
Image: Joan and her husband, Nagib, at their wedding reception in Düsseldorf in 1967.
Joan Saliba
(née Harrison, 1941–2020)
Headingtonian 1958
Written by her brother, Derek Harrison
Joan was born in Clitheroe, Lancashire, on 25 January 1941. The family home was at that time in Coventry, where her father was editor of the local newspaper, but her mother and elder brother (her only sibling) had been sent to stay with relatives in Clitheroe to escape the bombing of Coventry.
In 1942 the family was reunited in Coventry, where Joan grew up. For several years she attended Kingsley School in Leamington as a day pupil, until in 1953 she came to Headington as a boarder in Napier House. Joan had happy memories of her time at Headington; she particularly enjoyed French and Geography lessons.
After leaving school at the age of 17, she worked briefly in a Solicitor’s office in Coventry, before bravely taking the unusual opportunity of a job in Düsseldorf as the English assistant of Frau Lilo Milchsack, the founder of Deutsch-Englische Gesellschaft, an organisation set up to foster British/German reconciliation after the Second World War. Joan then knew no German but quickly became fluent. She worked for the organisation for over 20 years before moving to the British Consulate General in Dusseldorf, where she rose to become personal assistant to the Consul General. For her work in Anglo-German relations Joan received an MBE and the German Federal Cross of Merit (Bundesverdienstkreuz).
Soon after her arrival in Dusseldorf as a young woman Joan married Nagib Saliba, a Christian Arab from Haifa who had left Israel to seek a better future in Germany. The marriage lasted 40 years, until Nagib died from Parkinson’s disease in 2007. Joan gave up her work at the Consulate to care for Nagib in his final years. They had no children.
Two years later, Joan formed an enduring partnership with Sa’eed Shehadeh, an old friend. Their last twelve years together were spent dividing their time between Germany and Israel. In the spring of 2020 she was diagnosed with cancer, and underwent an operation from which she never recovered. She died peacefully in hospital in Düsseldorf on 2nd May 2020.
Joan was a warm and happy person. She loved people and loved to travel. Without forgetting her European roots, she embraced wholeheartedly the Arab culture of her husband and partner, and was warmly accepted by their families and friends. She had a wonderful gift for friendship. She was someone whom everyone loved, genuine, generous, and caring. She is sadly missed by a wide circle of friends in England, Germany, and Israel.
Ann Tassell
(1950-2022)
Former staff 2012
Headington School was saddened by the passing of Ann Tassell, who was part of the Housekeeping team at Headington for 26 years, from 1986 to 2012.
Julia Ann Mahon was born in Dublin on 28th September 1950, the oldest girl in a family of seven siblings. The family moved to England in 1957 and they lived in the village of Bampton before moving to St Ebbes, and then to Walton Street in Oxford.
Ann was like a little mum to the younger children, taking care of her brothers and sisters most days, taking them to school and back, getting their tea and generally looking out for everyone.
Ann lived at Walton Street until she got together with Roland, who was in the Navy with Ann’s brothers.
Ann worked mainly in housekeeping jobs, starting at the Radcliffe Infirmary, then Milham Ford School, before moving to Headington School in 1986 where she stayed until she retired in 2012.
Whilst Ann was easy going, she didn’t suffer fools gladly or stand for any nonsense, and if she had something to say she often used plenty of colourful language. Whilst at Headington she was called into the office a few times and given a warning due to telling other staff to politely “go away”.
She was always busy and Ann would make sure their sons were well looked after - clothes ironed, lunches made, dinner on the table and the house spick and span. Ann enjoyed family holidays in Torquay, Swanage and Newquay and she loved to cook - favourites were liver and onions, a Sunday roast and pavlova with grapes.
Ann was quick witted, strict but fair, funny, kind & caring and always there to help, to listen or to hug. She never wanted for anything in life; she was happy looking after all her family and will be sorely missed by all who knew and loved her.